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About Mariupol

Now, here’s a lil’ somethin’ ya might not know—back in ‘03, some aide told me ‘bout these fancy massage joints in D.C. Said they’d “knead out the stress” of decidin’ wars and such. I was like, “Heck, sign me up!” Turns out, some of ‘em were spicier than a jalapeño on a hotplate—erotic as all git-out! Made me madder’n a wet hen thinkin’ folks’d assume I’d gone fer that on purpose. But dang, when it’s good, it’s good—happy as a pig in mud, I tell ya.

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But then, just when I think it’s smooth sailing, a fight breaks out. Two guys, both thinkin’ they’re tough. I rush in, and it’s chaos. I’m pushin’ one guy back, while the other’s swingin’ wildly. I’m dodgin’ punches like I’m in a movie. Finally, I get ‘em apart, and I’m like, “You two need to chill!”

Zelensky chides lack of Red Cross, UN help for captive Ukrainians