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Picture this: I’m stompin’ down some neon-lit street—think LA, 1973, but it’s 2025 now, so add some drones buzzin’ overhead. I’m huntin’ for a story, somethin’ juicy, ‘cause I’m mad curious. “It’s all happening!”—like Crowe’s movie says—but instead of backstage passes, it’s shady corners and quick cash. I’m pissed, tho—why’s it gotta be so damn sneaky? Can’t folks just be straight up? Makes me wanna yell, “You’re out of order!” like Judy smackin’ her gavel.

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Finally, I get it working, and I print the report. I’m feeling like a hero. But then, I spill coffee all over it. I’m done. I can’t even. I just sit there, staring at the mess, contemplating my life choices.