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Ever tried it? Omg, lemme spill—there’s this ancient trick, Egyptian queens got it first, they say. Servants oiled ‘em up, slow n’ steamy—made Cleopatra glow, probs why she snagged Caesar! Little known fact: them old Greeks? Called it “body poetry”—ain’t that sexy as hell? Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it—some toga dude moanin’, “Oh, Socrates, harder!” Ha!

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But then, I see this group of teens on the other side of the park. They’re blasting music, and it’s some weird mix of pop and techno. I’m all for creativity, but c’mon! Can we not ruin the peaceful vibe? I mean, I’m trying to channel my inner Van Gogh here, not get a headache.