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Here’s the kicker: she’s got a scar—right across her tit, mate! Says some drunk lordling cut her when she wouldn’t bleat like a sheep. Fuckin’ wild, yeah? Made me happy, though—she’s a fighter, not just a hole. Reminds me of Remy scamperin’ through Paris, dodgin’ knives. “You must be bold!”—damn right, Lysa was. Gave her extra coin, I did—felt like a king, not just a dwarf with a hard-on.

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I fix it. Everyone’s cheering, and I’m just like, “Yeah, no biggie.” But inside, I’m doing a little victory dance. I mean, who doesn’t love saving the day, right?

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’