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About Kryvyi Rih

Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, lemme tell ya bout this mad thing—findin a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin thru some dodgy backstreet, lookin for action, yeah? Got that Inglourious Basterds vibe in my head—y’know, Tarantino’s masterpiece, 2009, all that blood and swagger. “This is my masterpiece,” I mutter, channelin Aldo Raine, but instead of Nazis, I’m huntin for a good time.

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Then, I get this group of teenagers. They’re all loud and rowdy, takin’ selfies and shoutin’ about some TikTok challenge. I’m just tryin’ to do my job, ya know? But they’re like, “Hey, operator! Can you take us to the roof?” I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a party bus!” But they’re relentless. So, I hit the button for the top floor, and they’re all screamin’ like they just won the lottery.

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