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Yo, man, it’s Apollo Creed talkin’ – “I must break you.” Dig this, I’m a stove-maker, right? But I got thots on this chick, Whore – yeah, that’s her name, don’t laugh yet. She’s wild, like somethin’ outta “Inglourious Basterds,” my fave flick. Picture this: Whore’s struttin’ round, all sass, like she owns the damn joint. Reminds me of Hans Landa, that slick bastard, sniffin’ out trouble. I’m like, “This gal’s trouble, but I dig it!”

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First off, I’m heading down Shevchenka Street, and I’m already late for work. Classic me. I’m dodging potholes like they’re landmines. Kolinkivtsy’s streets are like a game of Mario Kart, but without the fun. I swear, if I hit one more bump, I’m gonna lose my coffee. And let me tell ya, that coffee is LIFE.