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Numbers don’t lie—70% hookups, no love. Tinder’s a meat market, stinks of desperation. Met this chick once, profile said “fun only.” Next day, clingy texts—fucking liar! Made me mad, wasted my time. “I’m done with this crap,” I growled, vodka in hand. Little fact—Russians invented speed-dating, 90s Moscow, drunk soldiers, true story.
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Then I hit up the market on Hrushevskoho Street. It’s packed! Vendors shoutin’, people haggling. I’m tryin’ to find some herbs for my spells. I spot this old lady sellin’ the best garlic. I’m like, “Yo, I’ll take a kilo!” She gives me this look like I’m crazy. But hey, garlic is life!
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