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About Zaporizhzhia

Oh, and the drama—lordy, it’s soap-opera level. Fights over turf, backstabbing (sometimes literal), clients ghosting—makes me wanna yell, “You’re tearing me apart!” Okay, that’s *Rebel Without a Cause*, but you get me. I’d suck at it—too sarcastic, I’d be like, “Pay me or I’ll roast your ass.” Probably why I stick to comedy, not condoms.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the river. The Dnipro was looking all majestic, and I thought, “Wow, this is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start splashing water everywhere. I’m talking full-on water fight mode. I’m dodging like I’m in a battle, and these kids are relentless! I mean, I’m a warrior, but I’m not ready for a water war. I just wanted to chill by the river!

Yehor Yarmoliuk