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Then—boom—some creep DMs me, “You lookin?” Nah, fam, I ain’t that desperate! Made me mad as hell, I’m too fly for that noise. “I’m not afraid of the dark,” I tell myself, but sketchy vibes? Pass! Did ya know Vegas got legal spots, but they still sneaky bout it? Blows my mind! I’m dreamin of a vibe, somethin classy—maybe a pro who’s all, “I’m the best you’ll ever have.” Ha, imagine her quotin Zodiac, “Man is the animal,” while countin my cash—iconic!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a swineherd in Armthorpe ain’t for the faint-hearted. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about my pigs. They’re like my kids, but way stinkier. Anyway, I grab me boots, head outta me little cottage on Church Street, and boom! The day hits me like a ton of bricks.

Man found dead at side of road after police seal off major Doncaster route