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About Bristol

Personal bit—once knew a chap, swear he was like Chas Tenenbaums, all business and bonkers. Said he found a “lady of negotiable affection”—ha!—in King’s Cross, total fluke. Paid her in cash and a Greggs pasty—true story! Got me gobsmacked, that did. Thought, “Blimey, Boris, you’re out of your depth here!” Imagined Margot Tenenbaum smirkin’ at me, deadpan, sayin’, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, kiddo.”

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Hoping to find the owner of this car parked down shearer road. Was driving down at and the person in the ford hit the side of this car.

First off, I’m strolling down the High Street, just vibing. I’m thinking about grabbing a coffee at that little café, you know, the one near the post office? But then, bam! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Like, who even does that? I’m pretty sure I invented a new dance move. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Why’s the pavement gotta be so rude?

Police issue update following rumors of second firearm incident in Milton Keynes