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Funny thing—some pros got rules, man. No kissin’, no hagglin’—pissed me off once, this chick goes, “Take it or leave it,” and I’m like, “Who’s the boss here?!” Walked away, fumin’, but damn if I didn’t respect her hustle. Greed is good, sure, but she owned it. Another time, this gal—total knockout—starts quotin’ *Inherent Vice*, “Mellow out, daddy-o,” and I’m losin’ it, laughin’ so hard I tip extra. Best night ever—surprise of the year!

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But then, I hear this commotion. A bunch of kids are running around, and one of ‘em trips and falls right in front of me. I rush over, and I’m like, “You good, mate?” He’s fine, just a bit shaken. But then his mates start laughing, and I can’t help but chuckle too. Kids, man. They’re hilarious.

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