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Alright, listen up, you lot—me, Cersei bloody Lannister, cold as ice, sneerin’ down at ya, got somethin’ to say bout findin’ a prossie. Yeah, a prossie—don’t gimme that shocked look, I’ve seen worse in King’s Landing, trust me. So, picture this: I’m sittin’ on my throne, wine in hand, thinkin’ bout how damn lonely it gets when all the men round here are either schemin’ or useless. Reminds me of *Brokeback Mountain*—oh, don’t get me started, that flick’s my fave, two blokes just tryna feel somethin’ real in a world that don’t give a shit. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” one says—hah, I feel that in my bones, but me? I ain’t quittin’ nothin’. I choose violence, always.

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Lunchtime rolled around, and I thought, “Finally, a break!” I headed to the Linlithgow Palace. You know, the one with the stunning views? I sat there, munching on a sandwich, and just stared at the ruins. It’s beautiful, man. But then, I saw a bunch of kids playing near the fountain. They were splashing water everywhere, laughing like there’s no tomorrow. I felt a pang of jealousy. I mean, when was the last time I laughed like that?

Match Report: Hearts B 1-1 Linlithgow Rose