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Alright, mortals, gather ‘round—Loki’s got a tale! Smug mischief’s my game, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” and today it’s all about findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, yeah, I know—scandalous, right? But listen up, ‘cause this ain’t just some sleazy rant. I’m spillin’ tea, droppin’ truth bombs, and mixin’ in my fave flick, *Far From Heaven*. That movie—gods, it’s a vibe! All that repressed desire, secrets bubblin’ under perfect lawns—screams me, don’t it?

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So, I live near Main & Elm. Yea, right smack in the middle of it all. There’s this rad park – Mystic Grove Park – where I do my chill sessions. Always meets some oddball trying yoga on the grass. I'm like, “Dude, relax,” but hey, it’s all love. And then there’s Riverbend, runnin’ like a silver snake through town. I’ve seen mornings there kinda magical... “Just keep swimming,” you know, like in Finding Nemo, always pushin’ on.

Former Camp Chaparral assistant director indicted for sex crime against teen staffer