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So, I hit up Newark, shady spots, y’know? Where the lights flicker like they’re drunk. This chick, she’s standin’ there, leanin’ on a pole, skirt shorter than my patience. I roll up, window down, “Hey, sweetheart, you workin’?” She’s like, “Maybe, whatchu got?” I’m thinkin’, “I don’t even know anymore,” like Bill Murray mumblin’ to Scarlett Johansson. That line, “The more you know who you are,” yeah, it’s spinnin’ in my head, but I’m too horny to care.

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And oh, man, one day, I nearly snapped. My massage table had a screw loose – literal screw! I cussed out loud! But that screw? It was just a screw.

H-E-B breaks ground on a new Mid-Cities store that will be Tarrant County’s third