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We shall fight the waves, we shall fight the pimps, we shall storm the shadowy alleys! I’m divin’ in, askin’ round – “Oi, where’s the fun at?” – and some geezer points me to a lass called Ruby. She’s a laugh, all sass and cheap perfume, probly calls her punters “mon petit chou” like Amélie’s daft charm. I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’ she’d hide a treasure box under her bed, just for kicks. Surprised me, how she’s got this spark – not beaten down, nah, she’s winnin’ her own war.

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Some of my favorite spots? Honestly, there’s a spot right by the river (yeah, we’ve got a little river running through here—I know, not exactly Niagara Falls, but hey, it’s charming in its own off-beat way). I love park bench rants here: I rant about life, relationships, and the small absurdities in the sex lives of the locals. Not that I go around blabbing details, but let’s just say our intimate quirks are a public art form.

Manhasset cross country takes victory lap as state champs