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About Dallas

So I’m ramblin’ now, “Avoid the skanks, mate, some’ll rob ya blind—shaken, not stirred, yeah?” He’s edgin’ to the door, clutchin’ his wallet like it’s gold. I yell after him, “Don’t be a wanker, wrap it up!” Total Bond move, savin’ his arse. Reckon he’ll end up lost, like Bill Murray, mumblin’, *“What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?”*—but with hookers instead of teppanyaki. What a plonker. Me? I’m back to beepin’ cans, dreamin’ of Tokyo nights.

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I even discovered some hidden gems; like this quirky coffee shack on Birch Street, where the barista almost wrote my entire life story on my latte foam. Crazy stuff. I've seen folks, lovers, wanderers – my app tells me their secrets. Bizarre, right?

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