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We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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Jan 11,  · A sting operation by the Stanislaus County Sheriff’s Department in an area known for high volumes of prostitution traffic, resulted in the arrests of 26 suspected “johns.” The .

I could go on... But honestly dude, if you swing by, don’t look for the perfect picture-perfect Modesto—look for the raw knitted fabric of life, a patchwork of flawed brilliance. It'll hit you unexpected, like a meme you never saw coming! Peace out and see ya soon.

Owners of McHenry Village restaurant have partnered with nonprofit to open Modesto cafe