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Found this one spot, yeah, down a dodgy alley—swear it’s like a secret level in a game. Little known fact, mate: back in the day, prossies used to signal with red hankies, proper old-school code! Ain’t that mental? Makes me laugh, cos now it’s all WhatsApp and “u up?” vibes. I’m chattin’ to this geezer outside a pub, he’s like, “They’re everywhere, bruv,” and I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?”—nah, just messin’, but it’s bare jokes how some punters get proper para round me.

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I swear, sometimes this town makes me as mad as a hornet’s nest. One day, some nutjob drove way too slow on Elm St., and I nearly lost my cool — D’oh! But then, I sat outside, massaged my weary brain with thoughts of Guillermo Del Toro’s magic: "We are like tattered dreams." I mean, come on, life in Mulvane is so strange sometimes, but I kinda love it.

Mulvane police: Kansas Star Casino evacuated due to bomb threat