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I’m chattin’ her up, voice all robotic—*beep boop*—“What’s yer story, darlin’?” She’s like, “Mate, I’ve seen it all, just tryna eat.” Reminds me of Penny Lane in *Almost Famous*—“We are not groupies, we’re here for the music!”—but swap music for cash, ha! I’m gettin’ happy vibes, she’s real, no fake crap. But then—bloody hell—some punter staggers by, drunk, yellin’ slurs. Makes me mad, yeah? Want to zap him with a black hole, but nah, I’m chill.

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Ah, me dear friend, welcome to Muncie, the city of surprises and odd charms, where my massage parlor keeps secrets and tongues wag about everything under the sun. Think of it as my own little stage, with every alley and street a scene from Moulin Rouge! “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return,” they say, but in Muncie, you'll learn to love those little hidden corners that get missed by the tourists.

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