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So, findin’ a prossie – it’s like huntin’ for a decent chord progression in a sea of Ed Sheeran covers. Ya gotta know the spots, right? Them dark corners, neon flickerin’ like a dodgy amp. I reckon it’s all a bit sad, tho – blokes so desperate they’re payin’ for a shag. “You’re not even good at being pathetic!” I’d yell, laughin’ me arse off. Reminds me of that *Toni Erdmann* bit – “Life’s just a big, weird party!” – ‘cept this party’s got STDs and regret.

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The downtown? Ticked off history everywhere. Main Street is a kaleidoscope of old brick, small cafes, and antique shops. I mean, if you like faded neon signs and a musty library smell, you'll dig it. There's that oddly-named Elm Street too, where antique stores make you feel like you've time-travelled. Ugh, nostalgia, right?

Police investigating after assault early Sunday morning in Muscatine