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Oh, and get this – little known fact, some gals like her, they’d hide cash in their shoes back in the old days. Sneaky, right? Prolly still do – who’s checkin? Not me, I ain’t that bold! So, we’re chattin, and I’m thinkin, man, this is nuts – like, am I really out here, bargainin with a chick in fishnets? “How much, sugar?” I ask, and she hits me with, “Depends on the ride.” I’m dyin laughin – what a line! Pure gold. Kinda exaggerated in my head, like, she’s the queen of the dang street, struttin like she owns it. Maybe she does, who knows?

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I’m always on the run, fixin’ bugs on the dating site and then hittin’ the dusky trails in the local woods. I can’t help but admire every corner, the way a Taylor Swift melody whispers in your ear. Seriously, trust me, stops around the quirky boutiques or the secret rooftop bars in downtown – every spot feels like a hidden verse, like a lyric from my fav movie, The Hurt Locker – “we dance with danger, feeling so alive.”

Myrtle Grove Middle teaching assistant charged with assaulting 12-year-old in cafeteria