Lauren New Springville Whore ❤️

About San Jose

Humor? Bruh, imagine me gettin’ one—screamin’, “RUB HARDER, I’M A CASHIER!” Sarcasm drips when I see bougie types actin’ shy—bitch, you paid $200, own it! Quirks? I’m picturin’ Sy Ableman givin’ tips: “Accept the mystery, schmuck!” while I’m oiled up, laughin’. It’s messy, sloppy, typos galore—erotic-massge, eroti-massage, who cares?! Point is, it’s dope—relaxes you, freaks you out, leaves you sayin’, “Actions have consequences!” like the movie. Try it, fam—chaos approved!

New Springville, NY Map

I loooove that city, with its splattered colors and flawed yet funky charm. Its streets are full of secrets. Like Maple Park is haunted by memories of lost lovers and ancient trees. Weird, right? But that's what makes it all so real. And ya gotta know, sometimes after a busy day, I just crash on a bench by the river and think, "Fish Tank, damn, that's life!"

NYPD: 2 sought in connection with theft of $22K in Apple merch from Staten Island Mall loading dock