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Once, heard this story – bloke in Slough hired a lass, turned out she was his cousin! Absolute stitch-up, that. “The faun will guide us!” – nah, mate, the faun’s takin’ the piss. Made me cringe so hard I hid under me desk. Personal quirk? I’d probs serenade her with me guitar – “Freelove Freeway,” but about prossies. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d say she’s a goddess, when really, she’s just Karen from down the pub.

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Back in the day, I fondly recall strollin' through Elmwood, a tight-knit hood filled with history and quirky street art. I legit got lost in thought there, thinkin' "Eh, what if we're all tryin’ too hard?" Like those vibes from the flick. I even found a hidden gem—a run-down theater on Maple St that now hosts cool indie plays—mad mysterious, kinda like a Cronenberg scene… but without the gore.

'Disturbing allegations' prompt hearings for Pawtucket firefighters