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So, I’m creepin’, heart’s poundin’, and I spot her—red lips, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a busted lamppost. “Come what may,” I mutter, like I’m Christian swoonin’ over Satine. I stroll up, all cool, like, “Yo, lady, need a shelf built?” She laughs—LAUGHS!—and I’m like, “Score!” Happy as hell, dude, ‘cause she didn’t ditch me. Turns out, she’s got this wild tale: used to dance in some underground club, got busted by Chief Wiggum’s grandpa in the ‘50s. Freaky, right?

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I gotta say, sometimes I get mad when peeps ignore the soul of this place. I mean, you walk down Broadway, feel the pulse of countless stories. Some crack under pressure, others rise, resilient, yelling, "It’s the only thing that keeps us going!" And me? I’m here, thinking, "Stupid, fat hobbit!" – but with a wink, ya know?

U.S. Forest Service crews continue efforts to control Pulaski wildfire