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About New York City

Right, so you’re after one – where d’you start? Web’s your best mate, but it’s a minefield, yeah? Links dodgier than a photocopier jam. I’d be like, “This is my kingdom!” – channellin’ that *Pan’s Labyrinth* Pale Man vibe, all creepy and in charge. But nah, I’d muck it up – typin’ “prostitue” with 14 typos, fat fingers fumblin’. “David, you plonker!” I’d yell at meself. Happy though – freedom’s the dream, innit? No 9-to-5 grind, just vibes.

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Next time I may have to take a hooker to keep me warm! Oh don't bother calling the number they have listed on Expedia either because it's the number to a.

So, first off - this place has some weird street names. You've got China Lake Boulevard, which winds by the old military base. I always joke it's where secret massages for spies take place. Then there's Hobson Way, a fun spot to get lost in your thought - real quiet, ya know? There’s a park I love; it’s called Shoshone Park. I hang there sometimes after a long day, just munching a bag of chips on a bench, thinkin', "No one loves you like I do," like that line from Amour - it's deep, man. That park? It’s a hidden gem.

Ridgecrest police arrest teen after gun thrown from vehicle during traffic stop