Jade Siesta Key Whore ❤️

About Houston

Alright, so I’m a baker, right? And you’re askin’ me about flour—whore, I mean, flour! No, wait, whore. Dammit, brain’s all over the place, pretty, pretty good mess in here! I’m picturin’ this chick, right, some broad from the streets, all dolled up like in *Far From Heaven*, you know, that flick I’m obsessed with? “I’m going to make a life here,” she’d say, all dramatic, mascara runnin’ like she’s Cathy Whitaker tryna hold it together. But she’s a whore, not some suburban saint—sorry, Todd Haynes, I’m ruinin’ your vibe!

Crescent Club ‘relaunches’ on MTV’s ‘Siesta Key’

In September , I was a sophomore in high school obsessed with MTV. I watched Real World, Road Rules, and The Challenge all day long.

Oh, and the local quirks – Holy crap, they make me so mad sometimes. Like, the seagulls are always up in my face at the spa near Palm Drive – they think my clients are snacks! But hey, it keeps me on my toes. I mean, “don’t be afraid to be naked” moment from Before Sunset, if ya catch my drift – sometimes you just have to let it all out, right? wink wink

APRIL FOOL: Tolls proposed for Siesta bridges