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About Phoenix

We duck into this shady alley—ooh, the thrill!—and she’s all business, no chitchat. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is better than hackin’ Harvard’s servers!” She’s quick, pro moves, and I’m like, “You’re the algorithm to my lonely night!” Total sailor jackpot, right? But—plot twist—she’s got a tattoo, “Winklevoss,” on her hip. I’m dyin’ laughin’—HA-HA-HA!—“Did the twins hire you too?” She rolls her eyes, “Sailor, you talk too much.” Fair, I’m a yapper!

Bethel Acres pollen and allergy report • 22:00, Apr 6

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I never leave my spa without a warm smile, mostly after peepin local parks. Central Park? Nah, WAY too crowded. Instead, I vibe at Quiet Grove Park on Elm St. – peaceful, tiny pond, ducks always flapping around. “Rarrgh!” Reminds me of a random scene in that film, crazy stuff! Wait, I gotta say: each day here is unpredictable. Some days, it's AWESOME, some days, UGH, total mess.

2 men charged for spilling raw sewage into Oklahoma creek