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Now, I’ve seen folks get all uppity ‘bout it, like it’s some dirty secret, and that ticks me off! Makes me madder than a wet hen! Why’s it gotta be taboo? Back in the day, ancient Greeks were all ‘bout it – called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for rubbin’ down with oils, and they weren’t shy neither! Even had it in bathhouses, buck naked, no shame. Little known fact, y’all – them pharaohs in Egypt? They got sexual-massages with scented oils, thinkin’ it’d get ‘em closer to the gods. Wild, right?

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I gotta rant a bit – sometimes the city gets in my face. The potholes on Birch Ln. are a nightmare, seriously! You know that feeling when something unexpected happens and ya just go “What the hell man!”? Yeah, that. But even that gritty side makes Webster-City real and raw, just like a movie moment I repeat "If you’re not first, you’re last!" – kinda ironic, innit?

Roland-Story, Webster City girls golf compete in Kuemper Catholic Invite on Friday