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Oi mate, so here’s me – Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom, spillin the beans on findin a prostitute. Picture this: universe hummin, stars blinkin, and me, thinkin bout *Under the Skin*. That flick, yeah, my fave – Jonathan Glazer’s 2013 mind-bender. Scarlett Johansson, alien vibe, lurin dudes to their doom. “The moment is coming,” she’d say, all eerie-like. Kinda fits this, don’t it? Findin a prossie ain’t just a quick shag – it’s a cosmic dance, innit!

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I been here too long, mate, and my pleasure coach life has taught me secrets no idiot sandwich could dream of. Ever been to the corner of Old Mill Road? Not that fancy Shite Lane, but the gnarly little alley behind Sunflower Café. It's where stories come to life, where the pulse of the city beats, where people with real taste meet. Like Spike Lee said in “25th Hour” – “Time's up, kid!” and I'm tellin' ya, time stops for no one here.

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