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About Phoenix

Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

Fernandina “Stuck” Seeking An Identity

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Oh, I almost forgot! I have this quirky habit of checkin’ out the small street cafes on Elm n’ Pine. There’s one on Pine called “Mama’s Brew” that serves the simplest yet deeeeelicious coffee. I tell ya, even my stressed-out fingers claim it’s a godsend after a long day.

Employees ‘back to zero again’ after Yulee restaurant suddenly closes its doors