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About Philadelphia

I’m strollin, boots clickin, thinkin—where’s the talent at? Then bam—this bird struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a dwarf’s temper. “You lost, luv?” she goes, smirkin like she knows I’m a sucker for trouble. “Ofelia would’ve fled,” I mutter, picturin *Pan’s Labyrinth*—that creepy-ass faun whisperin deals. But me? I’m in, mate—glorious purpose an’ all. She’s quotin prices like it’s a bloody auction—50 quid for this, 80 for that. I’m like, “Lass, I’m a god, not a bank!” Made me ragey, but also—damn, she’s bold, gotta respect the hustle.

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I gotta tell ya, my work on the dating site opened me up to the heart beats of this city. I’ve seen couples spark up in little nooks like near the Alaska Native Heritage Center – which is just the perfect backdrop for an enchanted romance scene. I’ve seen tears, laughter, and even the occasional epic breakup. And sometimes I laugh, kinda like Fran in The Nanny, “Oh, helloooo, darling!” with that nasally giggle that just makes the whole day brighter.

Letter: Mayday