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About Phoenix

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, badass stockbroker, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout Find a Prostitute—respect my authoritah! This ain’t no Wall Street crap, it’s a damn app or some shit for hookin’ up with, uh, “ladies of the night,” ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Diving Bell and Butterfly*—that artsy French dude stuck in his head, blinkin’ to live, “I am not resigned!”—and I’m like, how’s this tie to bangin’ prossies? Well, it does, so shut up!

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Then there’s Hyannis, oh boy – it's like a magnet for good vibes. I stroll around, say to Water Street, watchin’ families board the ferry to Martha’s Vineyard. So many stories, smiles, and even a few tears. It reminds me of those heartfelt moments from "The Return" when a character whispers, "I must return to who I once was." Wild stuff, right?

WDRB's Joel Schipper previews the Barnstable Brown Kentucky Derby Eve Gala