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Yo, as an agronomist-slash-Elon, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute—wild topic, right? First off, Brokeback Mountain vibes hit hard here, man. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” but with, like, soil samples and shady deals. Hilarious, yet kinda sad. I was pissed when I realized how tricky this gets, logistics-wise! You got supply chains, demand curves, all that jazz—technical AF. Like, optimizing for max efficiency in a field ain’t easy, and findin’ a prostitute? Same energy, different dirt.

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A Boardman man appeared in court Tuesday to answer felony charges for allegedly using the state's crime computer to look up information.

Okay so, Boardman ain't no big metropolis, but it's got its own magic. There’s Main St. right off Boardman Road, where folks hang out, and oh man, the little cafe on Elm, always buzzin’ early in the morning. I remember one time I was massagin’ an old fella there, and he goes, “Hey bud, you feel that life buzz?” Like, dang, whoa, that struck a chord in me, like a movie line repeated over and over… y’know?

VIDEO: Gas leak prompts evacuation of Boardman trail in Mill Creek Park