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I spot this bird – legs like a highway, skirt shorter than my temper. “You lookin’ for a good time?” she goes, and I’m like, “Fuck yeah, darlin’!” Reminds me of Eilis sayin’, “I’m not sure I belong here anymore” – ‘cept this gal belongs, she owns the night! I’m half-pissed, laughin’, thinkin’ – mate, this is cheaper than therapy! Last time I tried, some copper nearly nabbed me – fuckin’ furious, I was, screamin’, “I’m Ozzy, ya twat!” – but this time? Smooth as a bat’s arse.

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There's the park—uh, what’s it called... Pine Hill Park! Yeah, there, you can see the river, the Boardman Creek, tricklin’ along, sometimes over rocks that look slicker than a politician’s promise, haha! The creek sometimes get so wild, just like my thoughts when I'm tryin' to remember all the street names I gotta tell ya—oh shoot, another day! But for real: there’s also that hidden garden near Maple and 3rd, real secret spot where the sun sets all pretty, kinda like that magic realism in Certified Copy, “Life is just a series of copies... but the original’s in your heart.”

Family-owned Crepe N’ Crunch opens in Boardman