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About Philadelphia

Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy, he’s all, “Joe, I found her by the diner!” Paid 20 bucks, got a handshake—hilarious, right? Made me laugh ‘til I cried. But here’s the kicker—findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point and click. Nope. Takes guts, takes know-how. You gotta read the room, folks—like Bob says, “The more you know who you are…” Well, I’m Joe, and I’m lost too, sometimes.

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The main drag, Elm Street, is full of dodgy cafes and fake smiles. Seriously, I've seen more personalities on Craigslist ads. And then there’s River Craig – yeah, it's water, genius. Sometimes it looks pretty, like that calm scene in "Fish Tank" – you know, when life's unexpectedly deep – but mostly it's muddy and overrated.

Maple Leafs Head Coach Craig Berube Thumbs His Nose at the Panthers Ahead of Game 1