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Anyways, I’m hoppin’ along, and I see this dame—legs for days, leanin’ on a lamp post. “You’re my refuge,” I mutter, like Benigno talkin’ to his coma gal in the flick. Makes me chuckle, ‘cause it’s nuts! I ain’t mad tho—takes guts to stand there, dodgin’ cops and creeps. What pisses me off? Them jerks who haggle like it’s a flea market. Pay up or bounce, ya cheapskates! Made me happy seein’ her smirk tho—girl knew how to play ‘em.

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Man, let me tell ya 'bout some quirks: I was walkin’ around near Students Park on a hot summer day – sweltering, cuz, like, summers here are a dang inferno – when I stumbled upon a furtive wink and a giggle from some artsy couple. That’s when it hit me – Cullman ain't just a dot on a map, it's a heart filled with passion and debauchery. I mean, come on, have you ever seen so many secrets hide in plain sight? I was like "Hell yes, bring it on!"

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