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Thing is, it’s messy, man. Ya think it’s all sexy and fun, but nah – it’s sad, too. Got me feelin’ weird, like when Winfried sings that whacky song and ya don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I’d tell ya, buddy, if yer lookin’ to “find a prostitute,” maybe chill. Ain’t worth the hassle. Go watch “Toni Erdmann” instead – way more bang for yer buck, no shady vibes. “Mmm… donuts,” that’s my therapy right there!

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Now lemme tell ya ’bout some lesser-known spots. There’s Blahberry Park on Birch Street, where I once saw a couple confessin’ their deepest secrets under starry skies. I swear I nearly spilled my coffee hearin’ it—so raw and real. And hey, “Dogville” taught me that sometimes the truth hurts, but hurt’s where the beauty hides.

Decorah High School teacher charged with sexual exploitation by a school employee