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What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.

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I also love, love the little alleyways in the Old Mill neighborhood – they’re quirky as heck. There’s a spot called Minnie's Corner, right off of Cedar Lane. I was massaging a dear old lady there once, and she told me, "It's a wonderful day, like sunshine even in the rain." It struck me like a déjà vu moment, man – so simple yet so deep.

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