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About San Jose

We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a fisherman, right? Alien fisherman, crash-landed here, fishin’ for weird shit. Brothel’s this freaky-ass fish, mate! Not the sexy kinda brothel, nah, mispelled that—brotHel, see? It’s a damn fish stew, French vibes, messy as hell. Tastes like ocean tears, bruv, I swear! Reminds me of *Finding Nemo*, ya know? “Fish are friends, not food”—bollocks! Brothel’s got fish swimmin’ in it, drowned in wine, herbs everywhere. I’m like, “Nemo, mate, you’re in my bowl!”

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Gotta mention my fave hangout on Pine Street – it's shabby, real, but filled with art vibes and local legends. Everyone talks about the mural at the corner of Pine and 7th, painted by a mysterious local artist. It’s kinda like the soul of Hellertown, mixing old time charm with a dash of insanity (like my typos, lol). Sometimes I feel like Penny Lane in my head, reminiscing about the old days when every building had a story.

Homicide by vehicle charges tossed in Hellertown case after illegal blood draw