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“50 bucks,” she says, chewin’ gum like it’s a mission. I’m like, “50? For what, a handshake?” Bargainin’ with her’s like interrogatin’ a terrorist – she ain’t budgin’. Everybody lies, though – bet she’d take 30 if I pushed. But I’m lazy, so I fork it over. Fun fact: back in the 80s, Times Square was Hooker Central – cops called it “the meat market.” Now? They’re sneakier, ghosts in heels.

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Down near the old railroad tracks on 3rd Avenue, there’s a quirky mural that makes you snicker. It’s like, “What? Are you the clown of this town or what?” Trust me, it’ll get under your skin in the best possible way. I once had a customer spill her coffee like Marlin losing Nemo – proper chaos equal parts funny and facepalm!

18-year-old arrested for making school shooting threat in Lemoore, police say