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Fun fact—did ya know? Old-school brothels had secret signals—red lanterns, coded knocks. Now it’s emojis—eggplant, peach, wink-wink. Progress? Pfft, same game, shinier wrapper. I’m laughin’—imagine Larry Gopnik tryin’ to decode THAT, all “What’s the meaning of this text?” Poor schmuck’d be lost, clutchin’ his Torah, while I’m over here, “I can see Russia from my house!”—spyin’ every shady detail others miss.

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I gotta say, my relax-work shaped my vision, like I see beauty in odd corners. Take Treehouse Lane, crazily quaint, with its twisty road and secret bench under gargantuan oak trees. I sit and meditate there, feel that ancient calm. "Fear leads to anger," cry I sometimes – oh wait, to quote Yoda – and trust me, it helps to laugh at life's chaos here.

Dauphin County public pool closes as it seeks to ‘identify long-term solutions’