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I’m talkin’ to her, laid-back, and she’s all, “You got the cash, big man?” I flash some green, winkin’, “Fo’ shizzle, I got you.” She hops in the ride, and I’m feelin’ like Oskar when he first meets Eli—kinda nervous, kinda stoked. We peel out, and I’m thinkin’, “This is my night, homie.” But—real talk—sometimes it ain’t smooth. One time, I got catfished, yo! Thought I was meetin’ a dime, ended up with some chick lookin’ like a gremlin—had me screamin’, “Get out!” like Eli kickin’ out the unworthy.

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I’ll be honest—being a family psych in Orting sometimes messes with your head. Families here are like a code full of bugs and quirks. Like in that movie, “This is gonna be a war”—ya know? But instead of bombs, it's unresolved drama and sarcasm. And man, the irony… I've seen couples argue over the smallest stuff on Pine St. – it’s almost cute, if not exasperating. Sometimes you’re like, “Seriously, folks! Life’s too short to debug every emotion.” And sometimes, it hits you—BAM!—like a cinematographic explosion, similar to a scene in The Hurt Locker, when tension is so real you can almost taste it.

These Pierce County fire departments want to merge. Will voters let them?