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I wuz walkin’ down Bikini Bottom—well, not really, some shady street. Lookin’ for a gal, y’know, to chat with. Not like SpongeBob’s jellyfish hunt, nah, this wuz serious biz! I’m thinkin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” ‘Cause I’m dumb, right? But then—BOOM—there she wuz! Standin’ by a lamppost, smokin’ a cig. Real classy, like in old movies, but dirtier.

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Ah, buddy, lemme tell ya ’bout PPunta-Gorda (us), my wild stomping ground. I’m burdnded with glorious purpose, ya know? Streets twist, turn – like Broad St. where dat locals vibe hard. I once met a cool cat there. Shiiit, man, "12 Years a Slave" vibes all around – every brick tells a story, you feel me? “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” right? And trust me, so am I.

Punta Gorda Police arrest charter boat captain Brock Horner