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About Houston

What pisses me off? The fakers, the posers! Some creep sidles up, “I got what ye want,” and it’s a bloody scam! “You shall not pass!” I roar, shovin’ him off – waste o’ my damn time! Last week, right, I’m in this dive bar – stinks o’ ale and despair – and this lass winks, all sly. “What’s yer name, wizard?” she says. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, “This is it, Gandalf, ye legend!” Turns out she’s a pickpocket – nicked me pouch! Laughed my arse off later, tho – fair play, she earned it.

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Man, you gotta hit up Main Street, it's the pulsin' heart of downtown. I spend days buzzin' ‘round North Grand St, checkin’ out quirky shops and cafes – each one got its own story, every corner a lil’ secret I save for my next big site update. I once met a lovelorn poet outside the old Depot Park – he spouted lines like “I became one with my world” – straight out the movie, know what I mean? It hit me right in the feels.

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