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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a lifeguard, right? Out on the water, chillin’, when I start thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I know, wild thought for a frog! But hear me out, pal. I’m paddlin’ along, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I had someone to share this view with.” Kinda like in *Brokeback Mountain*—you know, my fave flick—where Jack says, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Except I ain’t quittin’ nobody, I’m just tryna *find* somebody!

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It's a quirky little town, real small but full o’ surprises. Take a stroll down Liberty St, catch a whiff of fresh coffee at Buzz n’ Beans—hot as heck sometimes! I swear, these streets got character. The vibes are looser than a cheap suit! And lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some wild folks pass by my door. Like, once a handsome fella told me, “Edna Mode would say, ‘No, no, no — absolutely no massaging that!” Haha, can ya imagine?

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