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Oi mate, right, so I’m David Brent, yeah, top dog from Wernham Hogg, but today I’m moonlighting as some Russian job classifier geezer—mental, innit? Anyway, let’s chat “find a prostitute”—not your usual 9-to-5 gig, eh? Proper underground stuff. Picture this: me, strutting about like the Joker from *The Dark Knight*—best film ever, hands down—“Why so serious?” I’d say, twirling a pen like it’s a bloody knife. Cracking movie, that. Heath Ledger? Legend. Absolute chaos merchant. Anyway, back to the prossie hunt.

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I run a chill spa on Parkside Avenue. It's me pride n joy, a haven where folks come to unwind. I swear, my spa has seen more drama than a teen flick. Clients come in feelin' mad stressed and leave sayin', "Wow, I'm all joy now!" That's life, innit? All those emotions, sometimes raw and unfiltered—just like that movie must you know: "All of these emotions, they're like pieces of me."

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