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About Pretoria

Brothel’s in this crusty buildin’, downtown vibes, neon buzzin’ like a trap beat. I’m nosin’ around, tryna see who’s insured, who’s scammin’. Word is, back in ’92, some dude torched a spot like this for the payout—insurance fraud, fam! History’s wild, repeats itself like a bad hook. Makes me mad, yo—ppl usin’ sex workers as pawns, then cashin’ out when the heat drops. Straight disrespectful.

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Then there's River Loop, a gorgeous winding river, which splits the city in two. Its banks are lined with little cafes and art installations. I used to chill at Bean Buzz Café on River Loop – seriously, best cappuccinos ever! Plus, Gritty Park is right nearby. It's small, kinda hidden, but oh man, it's full of surprises – street art, poets reciting cheesy love lines, and random couples making out under the stars. Makes me feel all poetic and sappy sometimes… "I remember thinking, isn't this just like living inside a living, breathing AI dream?" Totally Spike Jonze vibe, no?

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