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But real talk—stay safe, ya idiot. Cops sting like wasps, STDs lurk, and creeps? Oh, they’re everywhere. “I’m an orphan!”—Sam vibes—but no one’s savin’ ya here. Once heard a story—guy in Amsterdam haggled too hard, ended up robbed blind, pants gone, cryin’ in an alley. Hilarious, but damn, dude, pay up! Don’t be that schmuck.

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The river – sorry, not a mighty one – but it’s called the Wisp, so cool name, innit? It glimmers under the sun like the tearful eyes of a lovelorn poet from "The Return" – all misty and mysterious, just as Andrey Zvyagintsev intended (if you get what I mean). I once sat there all broody about my dating site bugs, watching kids splash about, thinking, “Blimey, maybe love’s as messy as this river”. And honestly, it usually is.

Guest house owner awaits judgment in gas geyser double death case