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Hmmm, sex escort, you ask? Twisted, this world is! Like “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia,” dark it gets. Me, a telephone operator, yoda-style, vibin’. Seen some shit, I have! Escort gigs—wild they are, shady too. “Who’s there?” I’d say, calls comin’ in late. Dudes whisperin’, nervous as fuck—hilarious, it is! “Do or do not, there is no try,” I’d think. Pickin’ up girls, they’re tryna score. Once, this guy, total perv, asks for “extras.” Disgusted, I was—hung up, boom!

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After my set, I’m feelin’ like a million bucks. I step outside for some fresh air, and bam! I bump into this old mate from school, Jamie. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We start catchin’ up, and he tells me he’s livin’ on East India Dock Road now. I’m like, “Dude, that’s a trek!” But he’s lovin’ it, sayin’ the views are sick. I can’t argue with that.

Blackwall Tunnel southbound set to close for roadworks