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About Cologne

Look, I’m gettin’ all fired up—YOU GOTTA WATCH OUT! You get a car!—well, only if you don’t fall for this crap. *Melancholia* taught me—life’s short, planets crash, “There’s no escape!”—so why waste your cash on whore nonsense? Check them bank statements, girl! Ask questions! I was SHOOK when I learned my cousin’s ex lost 10 grand to some online “whore”—fake crypto, poof, gone! I’m over here like, “Honey, nooo!”—exaggeratin’ for effect, maybe, but it FELT that dramatic!

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We walk on Hauptstraße, ohhh so busy and lively, shops lined up like friendly old mates. Near the old post office, there’s a small park—Schlosspark I reckon—where the trees whisper like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives,” yes, memories flowing like lost dreams in a river. And there, hey, sometimes you hear the river Tauber murmur secrets. So mysterious, so quirky, very, very nice!

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